Laren's Cancer Blog

Celebration

 

The celebration of Barbara’s life (Emsnana) will be two weeks from today, Saturday, March 31, at Oakhurst Baptist Church at 2 pm. There will be a reception following. Please join her family in remembering her in this special way. March 31 was her birthday. I continue to miss her terribly, so I hope each of you comes with a big hug for me. 

The church is located at 222 E Lake Dr
30030 Decatur, Georgia

Thomas likes this post.
Karen threw a punch at your cancer.
Karen sent you a prayer.
6 people sent you a hug.
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Thank you Lauren. If we were in your part of the country we would be there. She was/is a wonderful soul. We will remember her and you.
Laren likes this comment
Much Love from NYC!
I wish CT and Georgia were closer. I will be there in spirit. Hug. Love
Laren, I wish I could attend but I'm way up here in PA. I would love to give you a hug in person and meet Nan's people. I also enjoy the Baptist service and I'm familiar as I lived a few doors up from Mt. Zion Baptist which was very handy on snowy Sundays. You can be sure that I will be thinking of our Nan. Her kind words, especially about my Step-Father and the Alzheimer's have ensured that I will always think of her with warmth and a smile. God bless you Laren, your family and baby George.
Sabina likes this comment
Thank you for sharing . I know it will be a special time of remembrance.
God bless you Laren.. she is really missed and I know she is with God our Father now and free..hugs and love and always prayers Sabina
Much love from Pittsburgh. Know that we are sending you a virtual hug here!
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Striking camp

This is perhaps an odd title for what I’m feeling today. It’s been very hard. Yesterday, of course, was Valentine’s Day. We weren’t big on it, because we thought it was it was kind of a scam by the greeting card industry, but we always noticed it. I went to a movie solo. Today I spent doing the paperwork for Barbara’s passing, death certificates, closing bank accounts, etc.  All the bureaucracy that represents a functioning existence. I felt like I was breaking camp, removing the traces that represented the outlines of her life. Which I don’t want to do, but must so that my life will function. Last night was my first alone in a house way too big for one person but that is filled with Barbara’s presence.

I hate to be such a Debbie Downer, but you guys have been my friends. I celebrate each of you who manages to elude the clutches of this beast.  Bless you all. Laren

Valerie sent you a prayer.
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*soft paw* We are thinking of you. For us, the closing down of bank accounts etc was like a lot of little deaths, each one a painful reminder of what had happened, and there was a niggling feeling of betrayal, as if we were wiping our beloved from our lives. But yes, you gotta do what you gotta do so that you can function. The bureaucracy was a small and insignificant part of Barbara's life - the major and most precious part was her place in your family and your hearts, and that will never change. Hugs :*)
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I so remember going through the same thing, and feeling the same emotions. As Thomas said, it waslike a lot of little deaths. The nights are the hardest. I had lots to do during the day, but after the sun went down! I had a good friend that told me, do everything in your own time. Don’t let anyone try to rush you, and if it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. For the first year, I felt guilty going anywhere, like I was cheating on Rick. This year, the guilt is less and I know he would have “kicked” my butt if I didn’t go. I found that when the emotions hit, and they do, just let them go. You need to talk, tell your story, cry, laugh, and remember!
Thomas likes this comment
So first of all on a slightly lighter note you have to change the term from Debbie Downer to doggie Downer because Debbie gets upset the last time I used that term doggie down there is okay Debbie Downer is not.

I got this book a while ago and I read a couple pages but never got very far into it however I just started it again and it's called... Good grief... And I would just say Google it and leave it at that... Just take a look... The woman who wrote it I respect her highly. And although I realize you may not feel like reading anything on the subject right now I think you might find it helpful... Very... the full title is good grief, healing through the shadow of loss... And the author is Deborah Morris Coryell
Thomas, Karen like this comment
It is hard to go through the paperwork that forms around your loved one's life. Perhaps, you have a friend or family member that can come spend time with you as you go through some of these necessary things. A pet or becoming a foster parent to animals in need of a home until they are adopted may give you companionship when others are not around. Do what you have to do now and that which can wait, put off so all is not so overwhelming. With the warm weather in Atlanta do get outside and take a walk each day. Exercise and vitamin D are both mood boosters. I know the difficulties in forming a "new" you after such a long marriage. My father was married 54 years when my mother passed away from pancreatic cancer. Reach out to support groups or friends. Hugs to you.
Remember that Barbara lives on through her memories and the children and grandchildren that you shared.
Thomas, Marcia like this comment
Joe and I are not big on Valentine's Day either because really, we should have those feelings EVERY day. I was so glad to see your post brcause even though you have your family, we're a different family for you, and we're always here. I can't say I know how you feel, but I empathize with the banking/financial part of your post; I was Executrix of a Will twice and I felt the same way. How's lil George doing?
Thomas likes this comment
George is doing wonderfully well and growing like a weed. I look forward to seeing him again soon.
Marcia likes this comment
Thinking about you Laren and sending thoughts of Christian love .. hugs and love and always prayers Sabina
Thanks. Just got back home after a few days at the beach with the grandkids. Had a great time but now I’m back to my empty house.
Thanks. Just got back home after a few days at the beach with the grandkids. Had a great time but now I’m back to my empty house.
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July 19, 2015

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Pancreas Cancer

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